WOW! I haven’t touched this site for ages. For 5 months already. Sorry for my laziness. I guess within these five months there are a lot of things that had changed for me already. Whether they are good or bad, I still thank God for them. By this time, even some of the things that had happened, results are not seen yet, God will determine whether they are good or bad, but at this moment I will just wait patiently for God to do His will. I know that He will reveal His will to me.

It’s kind of funny when I read my journal dated on Sept 11, 2005, how God had touched my heart at that time. Yet, what the Holy Spirit had asked me to do that time, I failed to do it. However, God never gave up on using me, at least there is something started (of course not by my own effort). At the same time, I asked God if I have fulfilled the purpose He had given me in the company. This question I asked myself so many times for awhile already. Maybe it’s because to a certain extend, my internal desire is to leave the company. It seems right now that God continues to bless me at work. In the past week, in a coincident, I started sharing a Bible verse with a coworker (my coworker is a Christian, yet for some reason he kept on saying that he’s a lost sheep). In return, he said he would share another verse with me the next day, and we should take turn sharing each day. WOW! I didn’t expect that to happen. He even suggested some other things, but not too sure if it’s going to happen. When we had the idea of taking turn sharing a verse each day, there was another coworker in mind in which hoped he would join in. Sadly, he kind of turned down the idea. After just the forth day when the first coworker and I started sharing, the second coworker started to send us a verse that he read from the Bible. AMAZING! Another person joins in. Let’s pray that this can actually persist. Once again, God showed me that He is faithful and miraculous. “Our God is an awesome God, He reigns from Heaven above…” May God continues to bless our sharing =D

Now I have another insight, but I am not sure if it is correct if I think of it like this. I asked God whether the purpose He has given me at work is fulfilled or not, if it’s done then move me to another place. Instead, maybe I should look at it this way: God will continue on using me at where I am until I leave and move to another place, where He will continue on using me but only with a different group of people. The difference is between the two is that I can find another job I want even though it seems like there are more opportunities in which God can use me in this current job, but even if I leave, God will continue on giving me different opportunities. I guess most importantly is that if God wants (or doesn’t mind) me leaving the current company, then He will make a path for me (i.e. acceptance to another company).

How some I feel disappointed. Maybe disappointed in myself. It just proves that I am bad in words. Let God teach me the way, and let my actions affect other people and not with words.

Tonight, I have this urge to eat ice-cream (as always). So I drove to the McDonald that is down the street where my house is. As I went through the drive-thru, the person asked me what I wanted, and I said I wanted hot fudge sundae. I went to the first window to pay and the second window to pick up the yummy ice-cream. The person handed me only the ice-cream and the spoon, but I also wanted peanuts. So nicely, I’ve asked the person for a pack of peanuts. Out of my surprise, the guy told me, “One is not enough, it will be used up very quickly. I’ll give you two.” Wow, what a nice guy. You know nowadays McDonald almost charge us for any extra things possible (ie extra dipping sauces).

On my way home, the guy reminded me that’s exactly how God treats us. When we ask Him for something, many times we asked God for something that we wanted. In return, our wonderful Lord will give us more than what we needed. Isn’t that awesome? For the past two weeks, I was struggling. Struggling a lot. I cried out to the Lord deep within me for His help. I was dried up, and I felt like I had been disconnected from the people at church. I asked God for some directions. Praise the Lord! For the past two weeks, I had been able to share my views to many people. First to Genuine, then to Candy, then during the caring meeting, then to Pastor Freda. Those were the unexpected moments where the Lord led me to share. I know I will have a chance to share it with Rev. Lau soon, since he had that we will have lunch together sometime. It’s just wonderful as to what God had done. It’s even beyond how I can describe it. I don’t even deserve it, but God grants me with not only one opportunity, but many, many opportunities to open my heart and share. It’s a blessing no doubt. I thank the Lord so much for what He has done. =D